Sometimes things hit you and you are completely blindsided and numb, left wondering, what brought that on.
The heart beats and the feeling of a fog takes over. Wondering, again, how did this happen.
Drove around for hours, looking for calm, finding no answers to the questions swirling in my head.
Should have known the peace wouldn't last, should have known the storm was coming, should have known the evil would open its mouth again and speak death to your soul, should have known.
Believing the lie of love in the midst of their addiction and compulsion, holding on for the ones who can not hold on for themselves, wondering, again and again, why now.
Numb, sitting still and breathing, hoping the quiet will give answers in the aftermath of the quake.
Moving and lifting, folding and sorting, shifting time forward, can't wait another ten years for the ones who can not care for themselves to be unto themselves.
Open doors, must be coming from the One who sees all, silent tears and open prayers, trying to learn the meaning of the chaos.
Blindsided and numb, feeling but not, seeing but not, knowing but not, wondering how...again.